Thomas Michael

I am new in Houston, and so don’t know anybody here. I am looking for someone to love, to love fully, rather than only sex.   

What I SEEK:  I am seeking a steady relationship, monogamous, to last as long as it does naturally, as mutually agreeable and enjoyable for both parties.  I want lasting, monogamous relationship, not for any moral or religious reasons, but for practical ones. 

1- I think it requires time and exclusivity to build a deep relationship of true love – we cannot love that which we do not know-- and I prefer one, long, deep, loveful relationship to many short and shallow ones. 

2-  I do not want to worry about STDs, so I will be faithful and want that in my partner.  For birth control, I have a vascetomy. 

3-  It takes too much time and energy to build a good relationship. A good one is something to hold on to. 

So I am looking for one, long term if possible, monogamous relationship of maximum integration.  I was hesitant to post this, monogamy, as my interest on a site where the opposite seems to be the purpose, but here it is anyway.

Who Am I?

My OCCUPATION is philosopher and I do original investigation and research at the cutting-edge of human knowledge in the field of ontology (the nature of being, consciousness, happiness, etc.)  I am also very good at psychology. I am an expert psychotherapist.  I am versed in oriental philosophies such as Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sufism, Gurdjieffianism, and Christianity.  I am an expert in mysticism.  I am the author of half a dozen books, and more in progress.  I give courses and seminars on emotions, happiness, relationships, communication, creation and manifestation, personal power, and leadership.  I am well read in my areas of interests and read about a book per week.  I am passionate about what I do.  I am ex-military, and ex professional pilot with an ATP rating, ex flight instructor.  I am very good with computers, electricity, mechanics, (I usually repair my cars and motorcycles), and home building and repair.  I work at home and so have totally flexible hours. However, your intelligence and education are not of overall importance to me.  I am more interested in your heart, sense of humor, and ability to be at ease, relaxed, and to play.  You do not need to be more than averagely intelligent, educated, or read. 

Interests:   Personal-Development, Philosophy, Psychology, Spirituality, Mysticism, Aviation, Motorcycles, Reading, Science, Movies.  Do not watch TV but have big screen home theater setup for an weekly movie or two.  Sports:  Like to play tennis, sail, motocycles, beach, camping.  I have been a mountain climber (have been to 4500 meters) and rappel instructor.  I am interested in science and technology, not much in fashion or art. I do like to read, and always have a waiting list of books to be read. The sages of the ages, through their books, are my best friends, along with two grown children.  

Languages:  Native English, self-taught and fluent in Spanish, can still read Latin and Portuguese with the aid of a dictionary.  Interpreted German in the army, but all forgotten now. 

Physical:  I am 58 years, excellent health with a slight back impairment from the military which can limit some sports, no STDs (just tested for all), no other health problems of any kind  (i.e. no heart, blood, diabetes, et)  I am 5’8”, 200 lbs.  I am both physically and emotionally a very strong person.  See the pictures. 

Race and nationality.  I am caucasian, of English and Italian ancestry, born in Texas.  I am xenophilic (the opposite of xenophobic), which means I appreciate diversity.  I have lived many years abroad so I am aware of cultural differences.  The more different you are in background, culture, and thought; the more I can learn from you and how you are and think.  You do need to speak English or Spanish though  

Ages:  I don’t really care: anything from 30 to 60, with a slight preference for 38 to 50.  Who you are is important, not your age.  I leave age decisiones up to you. Each age is a different experience, but each one can be a rich experience.  If there is a big difference (i.e you are under 35), we may have a mentor relationship as in the days of old in Greece, Rome, Europe and many other cultures, when relations between older women and younger men, and older men and younger women,  were considered an ideal.  So every age combination has its rewards.   I leave that to you.

Religion:  Mine:  I am very spiritual and totally non-religious. I did, in my far-gone youth, spend 4 years in a Catholic seminary to be a priest, but fortunately God saved me from that fate. Yours: I don’t care what your religion is along as it does not get in the way of the relationship, and you are not hung-up, inhibited, and guilt-ridden in the bedroom.   The Conversations With God series of books by Neale Donald Walsch best describes my spirituality.  If you like the philosophy in these books, we will get along famously on the spiritual level. If you haven’t read these books, then a fabulous adventure into spirituality awaits youGoing Deeper in to how I think and am.

I have done a lot of self-therapy work on myself so that my mind is very clear and my emotions almost always serene.  I am relatively free of all negative emotions; anger, fear, guilt, sadness, grief, depression, greed, avarice, etc.  I no longer can suffer in life.  My philosophy and work on myself will have many benefits for you in a relationship with me, some of which here follow:

Responsibility for Happiness. You are not responsible for how I feel, my emotions or my happiness.  I control these.  Therefore, I neither need nor want you to be or do any way or anything in the relationship other than who you naturally are. You do not need to be or do anything to try to please me or make me happy.   Be yourself and please yourself.  I will handle my happiness, create my love and joy – and if you want, I will teach you how to do this for yourself.  Your being with me permits me to love you and that increases my joy more and better than I can alone, because you give me a place (you) to which to flow love, and energy that flows, grows. 

For the same reason that I control my internal energies (thoughts and emotions), you cannot say nor do anything that will offend or hurt me.  After long work on myself to develop peace and serenity under all circumstances, I am not easily emotionally reactive to anything, even personal attacks.  Therefore, I will never get angry with you – (and should I fail and slip up, I will not blame you and I will apologize: it can never be your fault that I am displeased or angry.  It can only be a failure of my space).   Because of this, you can always say what you really think and feel; you do not have to worry about a negative reaction from me, or try to please me.  You should never try to please me with anything other than your truth.  I always want your truth – how can things work if we are dealing with illusions and lies about what we think, feel, or want?   My space, absolute non-reactivity to you to say your truth is essential for communication, which is the oil of the machinery of a good relationship. 

Similarly,  I will always tell you the truth of  what I think or feel if you ask, and without sugar coating. Notice that “if you ask” part.  I don’t chatter about what is going on inside of me, unless there is a very good reason to, something that needs your cooperation.  If I have resistances to something, I will usually handle them internally without mentioning them; they are never your fault and do not require to do anthing, so why even mention them.  So, If I don’t say anything, then everything is fine.  If you don’t say anything, I assume everything is fine. If you say everything is find, then I take it that everything is fine. The rule is:  When in doubt, communicate.

More on communication:  Be aware that I don’t read minds, so don’t expect me to know what you are thinking or feeling. If you want me to know it, say it in plain English, do not hint around. If you want something, ask.  I am usually happy to please.  

Freedom and Your Best Interests:  I will always respect your decision for what you think is best for you.  I will not try to control you, play the victim, be irresponsible, make you feel that you owe me anything, ever blame you for anything, or try to make you feel guilty, emotionally blackmail you, or other wise manipulate you or try to dominate you.  I will always keep my word to you (and expect you to keeps yours.) In other words: no games.  Life is too short, and I seek Joy.   I believe in Win-Win agreements, or no play.  As I said, I do not need you to love me, be any way other than as you are, or make me feel anything.  I do not need you to behave any particular way to make me feel loved, valuable, important, strong, successful, etc. (This is what damages many relationships.)  Be yourself, always choose what will satisfy you, not me. If I want something else, we will negotiate win-win.  I want you to be FREE with me and of me at all times.

Activities

I am of a contemplative nature and live in contentment and satisfaction with spurts of joy pretty much all the time.  My house is big and very comfortable. I work at home, writing books and creating seminars.  I don’t go out much: don’t need to, nothing out there in the hectic, rat-race world that I want or need.  I like my life and love what I do.  I can curl up with a book --or my lady-- and be totally happy. 

I dislike crowds, loud music, and noise  (such as sport events, bars, and discos). I don’t follow sports and I couldn’t care less about what any given team or sports figure did.  (I do like to play some sports already mentioned, especially tennis – and I do like museums.)  I don’t drink or smoke.  I don’t like big restaurants or any other place where there is background noise or music such that I would have a hard time hearing what you are saying.. 

It is fine with me if you like such activities (partying, drinking, dining, dancing, etc.) and you should go do them,without expecting me to go with you.  I will never be jealous that you have other friends, female or male  On the contrary, I want you to enjoy life to the fullest and I will never want to be any restriction on that, (other than sexual fidelity for the reasons I mentioned before).  I know that it is impossible for one person to be all things to another, and that variety and contact with others actually enriches a relationship.  It refreshes the parties and keeps the relationship from getting stale. So if any of that is part of your world, keep doing it with whomever bests works for you.

Likewise, when I decide to go motorcycle riding or flying or musems or something, and you don’t like or want to, you should not go.  Always please yourself.  I expect you to always make your decisions on what pleases you, not me.

Sex:  I consider sex almost a spiritual experience.  It is a gift from God  to remind us of the higher realms of union, love, and beauty from which we come “Man worships God on the altar of the body of Woman.”  Sex is so beautiful it can move me to tears.  I avoid orgasm in order to transmute the physical energy in love and joy.  Therefore, I like encounters to last 2 to 4 hours, and overnight.  I want to wake up next to you.  I love to cuddle and caress, joke and play, and I spend about 80% of the time stroking and pleasing my woman. I truly love to pleasure and please. A woman being made love to and enjoying love-making is the most beautiful thing on this entire planet.  The secret to good sex is really very simple:  the man needs to put most of the time and attention on pleasing the woman, not himself.  In love making, a man must play the violin and make music on his woman. My restriction on orgasms is only on my side: My lady can have as many orgasms as she wishes.   I like long, slow, languorous, quiet love-making, concentrated on enjoyment of feelings of beauty, love and joy; the physical part of sex just helps to generate those feelings.  I am willing to please by trying different things and positions, but the ones I like are where my chest touches yours and I can embrace you fully:  that is where there is maximum energy exchange. That is what sex is:  Synergistic Energy eXchange. 

Well, all the above should give some kind of idea who I am.   So, if you find me a possibility of relationship, would you please write me about you in similar detail?  My email is  thommycal at inbox . com    Send fotos to save time.

Thomas